I've come to the disturbing realization that I'm fat! Ha, actually I've know for some time. What I want to be is healthy and here for my children, all 7 and grandchildren, and MOST important my wedding in 6 mos! It's not my 1st time clearly but with gods help and some level headed brain power on both parts this will be my last! I want to be feeling great, no awesome on our big day and not worried about my fat roll on my back or arm flaps and yes the dreaded turkey neck. Let's face it I'm not a young 20 something I'm a 44 year old grandma.
So my commitment to myself before I commit to my man, is getting healthy, exercising more, we'll exercising because until today it's been walking to the fridge, and portion control. I'm not one to starve myself or deprive myself, so I will have to use will power and pure determination to get through this and over this huge hump!
I'm somehow feeling more hopeful this time, as I just walked for over 30 mins and 2 miles alone I thought this isn't me, this isn't my body, this isn't my life! The Bonnie I want to be is full of life and energy, not too embarrassed to get up in front of a crowd of sport bystanders to take my 6 year old potty. To not have to go to sleep at 8, although I get up at 3 every morning so that kind of goes hand and hand. I'm just tired and uncomfortable when I lay my neck roll chokes me, sound funny but it's true! My butt is so large when I sit in my fiancées car his seats make me feel like I'm literally sitting on my cheek folded? I'm just over weight and unhappy in myself, not my life because that's going great, I've got great kids and a job that is pretty easy going and pays my bills.
So my commitment is to do better for these next 6 mos and longer, and feel beautiful on my wedding day in April! So begins my journey..
